How is it that all the women in my life keep trying to play mother?

My coworker says I have to wear a tie to my interview tomorrow. She threatens to bring a tie for me if she sees me without come lunch tomorrow. She's joking, but she has this look in her eye that says she'll do it or she'll hang me from the fan by it if I refuse.

I get a lot of this. My college professors, co-workers, casual female acquaintances, my girlfriend. Some part of me must scream "I need female nurturing."

There's nothing like getting a text message from my dear friend overseas who in her liberal-feminist lesbian crusade, still finds time to lecture me about smoking cigars and how what I really need is a woman who can take care of me. She'll tell you exactly how traditional male/female relationship dynamics are a primary cause of social injustice, yet somehow it doesn't apply in my case because everything would be just fine if I had someone to cook for me(?)(!)

I grew up without a father, not a mother. Am I really the confused one here, or did my divergence from reality just get that big?